


Disoriented

by htebazytook



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, Romance, Slash, Wordplay, speculation made them do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-28
Updated: 2009-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/htebazytook/pseuds/htebazytook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short little one shot—I'm just trying them on for size.  The boys learn something new about each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disoriented

**Title:** Disoriented  
 **Author:** [](http://htebazytook.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://htebazytook.livejournal.com/)**htebazytook**  
 **Rating:** sadly, sadly PG-13  
 **Disclaimer:** <\--  
 **Pairing:** Zach/Chris  
 **Author's Notes:** Short little one shot—I'm just trying them on for size. The boys learn something new about each other.

 

 

"I have a story for you," Zach says, sliding into the seat across from him.

"I got you water with lemon, and you're eating the rest of my onion rings. You sure you're not hungry?"

"Yeah, okay. And I'm sure. Now shut up for two seconds and let me tell my story."

"Of epic proportions, no doubt."

"No doubt," Zach nods, squirming around awkwardly to get out of his jacket. Why the fuck is he wearing a jacket anyway? _Twenty years of Pittsburgh weather taught me to exercise due caution,_ Zach had said. _But apparently not due fashion,_ Chris had said, but then realized he was rocking a plaid shirt/cardigan combo.

The water arrives sans lemons and Chris doesn't say anything about it because he wants to see Zach's reaction when he figures it out in ten minutes, see if he's in a pissy enough mood to actually flag the waitress down and demand wedges of citrus ASAP.

"Come on, man, the suspense is killing me now," Chris says in a bored tone.

"Yeah, so." Zach clears his throat. "There I was, minding my own business and feeding Noah, just getting off the phone with you, actually, when I get an incoming call from my publicist demanding I tell her 'the story with Chris Pine'."

"Fucking karma, dude."

Zach blinks. ". . . Sure. Anyway, she proceeds to grill me on the status of our relationship, I mention something about picking you up later, she starts freaking out and asking if I've seen 'the papers', as though that's specific enough for me to know what the hell she's talking about. _Apparently_ ," Zach says dramatically, "the tabloids are convinced you and I are . . . y'know."

"BFF's?"

"Well . . . _together_ ," Zach hisses.

"Yeah, we're together a lot, we're in fucking movies together, what's your point?"

Blank stare from Zach. "Chris, you are not this clueless, you're really not. You're not even blonde in real life."

Chris frowns. "Hang on, you mean like _together_ together. Like . . . "

"Sexually," Zach supplies, still hissing.

" _Sexually_?"

"Yeah." Zach grabs his drink, takes a generous gulp.

" _Yeah_." Chris grabs his too. "Huh."

Zach puts his water down with a clunk on the thick hardwood table, _ahh_ 's, double-takes. "There's no lemon," he says, looks at Chris in sudden and disproportionate dismay, "in this."

Chris grins. "Nope."

"So yeah, apparently we're just a pair of lovebirds." Zach shakes his head, laughter coloring his voice. "I mean it's just utterly ridiculous, you know?"

"It is," Chris nods. "I mean it's not like it's any big revelation that I'm gay, but come _on_."

Silence, Zach's jaw dropping.

". . . Zach?"

"Here you go, guys—enjoy!" the waitress bubbles at them, leaving a plate of onion rings in her wake.

Zach gets distracted from his shock by the artery-clogging crap before him. He can barely disguise his disgust as Chris digs in, fingers instantly greasy. "Working hard on that heart attack, huh."

"Shut up, it's a little something called deliciousness."

"Aw, come on, you can do better than that."

Chris finishes chewing before he replies. "Yeah, that was pretty weak. Delectable," he enunciates at him.

Zach folds his arms. "Better, but I have faith in your linguistic prowess."

"Exquisite?"

"Eh."

Chris eats another onion ring and thinks, wiping his hands on his jeans when the epiphany strikes: " _Toothsome!_ " he says, looks up at Zach eagerly for his seal of approval and Zach laughs.

"You can't seriously expect me to eat those," Zach says.

"Oh, but I know you will, 'cause it just wouldn't _do_ to waste all that shitty deep-fried shit when there's kids starving in China. And shit."

Zach sighs. "How soon we regress . . ."

"But anyway, as I was saying—it's not like I'm keeping my sexual orientation a secret or anything."

"You've had girlfriends," Zach points out, doesn't know what else to say. He wonders if Chris is just screwing with him.

"Yeah, but so have you. It doesn't count if—"

Zach gets this weird look on his face. "What do you mean it doesn't count?"

"I mean, it's not like we were romantically involved. Just friends. Gay guys have girlfriends, it's the way of the world," Chris says sagely.

Zach laughs, weird laugh, shifting around in his seat with his eyes trained on the table top.

" _What_?"

"Yeah, those were girlfriend girlfriends, on my end. Dunno about you." Zach hides in his water glass.

It's Chris's turn to stare. He continues to do so until Zach is definitely done drinking, swallowing, placing the glass back on the table and is left with no choice but to meet Chris's gaze. "You're _not gay_?" Chris says it _way_ too loudly and they both jump from the volume but thankfully sound doesn't carry very well in the diner.

Zach leans forward, speaks in a half-whisper. "What the _hell_ ever made you think I was gay, anyway?"

Chris is at a loss for words. He shoves another onion ring in his mouth, chews contemplatively. "You mean you've never—?"

"No."

"Not even like once in college or—?"

" _No_."

Chris pushes his scant leftovers to Zach, staring into space. "Huh."

"Yeah, huh." Zach picks up an onion ring skeptically, bites off a tiny sample.

The waitress wooshes by, drops a check on the table. "Whenever you're ready, guys—thanks!"

"Okay, I think I missed something, 'cause either there are roller skates somewhere in this equation or she just can't stand the sight of us."

Chris shakes his head, not listening as he rummages through his wallet and slaps some bills onto the table. "Well," he says, standing up. "This has certainly been enlightening."

"Yeah." Zach follows him outside.

"So," Chris says when they're waiting to cross the street.

"So."

"People think we're . . . together."

"Apparently."

The walk sign lights up and they scurry to the other side.

"Damn short-ass light," Chris mutters. "So yeah."

"Yeah." Zach looks at Chris out of the corner of his eye.

" _Yeah_." There are unreadable expressions forming and transforming on Chris's face.

They're silent the rest of the way to the car, although Chris does catch Zach's eye for way too long over the roof while he's waiting for Zach to unlock the door. Keeps staring once they're inside and Zach can feel it and looks over at him for even longer.

"Yeah. I mean, that's what everyone thinks," Zach says.

Chris mulls it over it, nods. "Yeah, so. So maybe we should . . . we _should_. Right?"

Zach shrugs. "Yeah, okay."

Chris reaches for him, touches Zach's neck, damp cool sweat under his fingers, Zach's eyes really beautiful, Zach so close to him. Zach makes a sound into the kiss, hand coming up to twist in Chris's collar after a minute and Chris wonders why he didn't think of this sooner, sexual orientation aside, and soon he stops thinking altogether.

 

*


End file.
